There is nothing more compromising to ourselves as self-doubt. It kills our confidence instantly and can cause severe damages to our careers, and even to our relationships. Throughout my career as a teacher and educational counsellor, I have heard many stories of people who gave up so many opportunities, just because they thought they couldn't make it.
I myself suffered from that terrible mental block, ie: self-doubt, which indeed is an illness. Every time I was about to cross that holly line of my comfort zone, I would quickly go back and say to myself, maybe next time. I held myself from even getting relationships with girls. And the only one time I ever dared to ask a girl out in high school, I did it so reluctantly that she obviously refused, and that devastated me even more and I never dared to ask a girl out ever again! Self-doubt also prevented me to stand out in class and participate. Raising my hand in class and sharing my opinion was like mission impossible. You won't hear my voice in any class, even in those subjects where I excelled well; because I was always afraid that I might get it wrong, and the others would laugh at me.
It's not until a few years ago when I got hooked in personal development and self-help books, that I started building my self-confidence. The first book I read on self-help was The Element, by Sir Ken Robinson, who had a really positive impact on my teaching career. The Element is about finding the thing or the sparkle that ignites our passion. Because we all have passions, but sometimes we try to suppress them in order to please our surroundings, so as to concentrate on studies, work or relationships. Moreover, it's about trusting our guts in the careers that we want to choose to make a living; whether as amateurs or professionals. But, this book had just set the fire in me to explore the world of self-help books and the psychology of motivation.
It's not until a few years ago when I got hooked in personal development and self-help books, that I started building my self-confidence. The first book I read on self-help was The Element, by Sir Ken Robinson, who had a really positive impact on my teaching career. The Element is about finding the thing or the sparkle that ignites our passion. Because we all have passions, but sometimes we try to suppress them in order to please our surroundings, so as to concentrate on studies, work or relationships. Moreover, it's about trusting our guts in the careers that we want to choose to make a living; whether as amateurs or professionals. But, this book had just set the fire in me to explore the world of self-help books and the psychology of motivation.
However, that wasn't the book that made a difference in my life, rather it was a 1987 book by Susan Jeffers, entitled: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. I discovered this book through The Element; since Susan Jeffers was mentioned as one of the authors who defeated self-doubt about her ideas and questioned the whole concept of careers and decided to quit, even if she had, at that time, a stable job at the Floating Hospital in New York where she worked as an executive director. To me, having a job with a meagre salary, that was a big Wow! It was science fiction for me to think that someone with a position like that and probably a good salary might quit just like that, and go and seek a job where its horizons are not quite as stable as a monthly paid job.
This concept of feeling the fear in the decisions that we might have to make and do them anyway, created in me a sense of bravery and change in my mindset towards opportunities. And just by pure luck, a friend of mine presented to me an opportunity of a startup company that uses network marketing to market its products and it pays really well. I really felt the fear running through my veins, because I didn't have much savings to embark on this project, but I did it anyway. Unfortunately, the company shut down and I lost all that I have invested. However, that's not the point, I managed to find another network company. This time it was a cryptocurrency company. I thought maybe it would be as Bitcoin and I could gain a lot of money from the startup price of the coin, but, up to now, we're still waiting for it to go public. I know that these experiences may sound like discouraging but they opened my eyes on seizing the right opportunity that might come my way and try to make the best out of it. As it is said, every bad experience is a lesson learnt.
By then, I had already made a great improvement in defeating self-doubt. I am now married to a wonderful woman, and we have a handsome kid and a supposedly good job. However, I wasn't happy about my job. Teaching was becoming tougher and tougher since the educational system, which we are subject to, was widely criticized and the curriculum was lacking practicality. And, I felt that there is another way where I can make an impact on my students, rather than teaching boring subjects with boring curriculum ... So, I decided to change my career too, and become an educational counsellor. That career change was a big leap to improve my self-confidence and embark on a journey of a two years training, studying and commuting. I am even planning to write a book about all the books that have made an impact on me and changed my life for the better and so that others also can benefit from them.
Defeating self-doubt wasn't as easy as it may seem, and I do not claim to have completely erased it. There are still more improvements to be made, dark sides of my personality to conquer and bad temper to control. I am on the way of hacking my mind and let my conscious mind be more in control of my subconscious mind, through reading other books that deal with neuroscience and mental development. My reading right now is The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind, by Vishen Lakhiani. A book that I discovered by pure chance too and that is really made me question believes and thoughts that were instilled in my mind, and that hindered me from achieving my goals.
This is my first blog post on, what I called: Nabil's Motivation Blog. Though the name might change sometime in the future if needed. Also, this is the first stone in my upcomming project, which is to write my first book ever, that I will reveal the name sometimes later in other blog posts. In the book, I'm going to give the gist of all the books that I have read so far and that have made a positive impact on my life, as mentioned above. On the meanwhile, I wish you had a good read and looking forward to your comments.
By: Nabil Es shaimi
This concept of feeling the fear in the decisions that we might have to make and do them anyway, created in me a sense of bravery and change in my mindset towards opportunities. And just by pure luck, a friend of mine presented to me an opportunity of a startup company that uses network marketing to market its products and it pays really well. I really felt the fear running through my veins, because I didn't have much savings to embark on this project, but I did it anyway. Unfortunately, the company shut down and I lost all that I have invested. However, that's not the point, I managed to find another network company. This time it was a cryptocurrency company. I thought maybe it would be as Bitcoin and I could gain a lot of money from the startup price of the coin, but, up to now, we're still waiting for it to go public. I know that these experiences may sound like discouraging but they opened my eyes on seizing the right opportunity that might come my way and try to make the best out of it. As it is said, every bad experience is a lesson learnt.
By then, I had already made a great improvement in defeating self-doubt. I am now married to a wonderful woman, and we have a handsome kid and a supposedly good job. However, I wasn't happy about my job. Teaching was becoming tougher and tougher since the educational system, which we are subject to, was widely criticized and the curriculum was lacking practicality. And, I felt that there is another way where I can make an impact on my students, rather than teaching boring subjects with boring curriculum ... So, I decided to change my career too, and become an educational counsellor. That career change was a big leap to improve my self-confidence and embark on a journey of a two years training, studying and commuting. I am even planning to write a book about all the books that have made an impact on me and changed my life for the better and so that others also can benefit from them.
Defeating self-doubt wasn't as easy as it may seem, and I do not claim to have completely erased it. There are still more improvements to be made, dark sides of my personality to conquer and bad temper to control. I am on the way of hacking my mind and let my conscious mind be more in control of my subconscious mind, through reading other books that deal with neuroscience and mental development. My reading right now is The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind, by Vishen Lakhiani. A book that I discovered by pure chance too and that is really made me question believes and thoughts that were instilled in my mind, and that hindered me from achieving my goals.
This is my first blog post on, what I called: Nabil's Motivation Blog. Though the name might change sometime in the future if needed. Also, this is the first stone in my upcomming project, which is to write my first book ever, that I will reveal the name sometimes later in other blog posts. In the book, I'm going to give the gist of all the books that I have read so far and that have made a positive impact on my life, as mentioned above. On the meanwhile, I wish you had a good read and looking forward to your comments.
By: Nabil Es shaimi
